What is the question you were asked most frequently before the age of eighteen?
For me, and for almost everyone I know, it went something like this …
“so, Beth, what do you want to be when you grow up?”
At age forty, I wonder why people have stopped asking that question.
For those of you who know I stand at five feet small, you know I haven’t grown much taller since sixth grade, of course (:
…but, aren’t we all continuing to grow and evolve as human beings, throughout our life journeys?
As a life coach, so many people come to me ready for MORE in their lives. And while they don’t always know what “more” means, they are very much in tune with the fact that they have lost their spark, their joy – that sense of wonder that comes so effortlessly to us when we are children - when we believe that we can be whatever we want to be, in every stage of life.
One day when I was outside sledding with my kids, I was asking them what they envision for their lives. My older son, who is known for his unique ability to reciprocate in every conversation, posed the question back to me. “What about you, mom?” In that moment, I realized something. Some of the wonder and the joy that we experience in life comes from believing deeply that we can continue to grow, evolve, write and rewrite our life scripts, just as our kids do when people ask them about their future plans.
As children, when someone asks us what we want to be when we grow up, we are receiving the message that we can always keep dreaming and always keep aspiring to be something we haven’t yet become. In that moment, childlike wonder comes to life. But somewhere along the way, people stop asking us that question, assuming we are “grown-ups” and have already landed wherever we want to be. However, most of us still have many things we want to be or do, and would love nothing more than to share those thoughts and make them reality. But often, we keep them to ourselves, squelching our own dreams or letting fear or perceptions of others get in the way. So we keep on keeping on, and end up disillusioned or disconnected, which is just so very sad to me.
We all deserve to tap into that wonder we experience as children, when we feel on top of the world – when potential is limitless and the possibilities are endless – when we feel like we can carve out WHATEVER path we want in life.
And, why not? Why not assume that we can continue crafting our life script, with brand new chapters and stories that we write for ourselves? That’s what coaching is about. It gives people a safe space to explore exactly what they want more of, and how they are going to get where they wish to go.
As we begin our journey into springtime, may it be a time of rebirth for all of you, my friends – a time when you can ask yourself not what you want to be when you grow up, but what you most envision for the next season of your life - when you reflect on the fact that we are always growing and changing, and that is something beautiful to embrace wholeheartedly.
Marybeth Cale is a publicist and life coach who works with clients to promote greater success and satisfaction in business and in life. Call 845.876.2220 to get started with confidential coaching designed to move your life forward.
Copyright 2015, Cale Communications: All Rights Reserved.
As we round the corner to mid-February, we are all inundated with messages about love. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I honestly can’t get enough of it. I fully enjoy every article, every meme, every picture on social media – even the corny commercials where couples rediscover magic in the eyes of one another over an unnecessary jewelry purchase. Just this morning, as I drank my coffee, a young man proposed to his girlfriend in New York City - right before my eyes, on national television. As I watched him get down on one knee, so sweetly declaring his love for her, I cried tears of joy. After all, nothing connects humanity like a great love story.
This year, though, there is a new dimension to my Valentine’s Day reflections, beyond such traditional stories of passionate romance. I have been thinking about all of the messages we get about love in context of my life coaching practice. When I consider the love stories that shape our lives, and think about what love means to the many different clients with whom I work, I am reminded of one very simple lesson that I have learned from those who have had the most success in this area – that of cultivating our relationships with ourselves first, in order to fully open our hearts to others.
Wait, you say…..self first? Before others? Okay, so maybe it sounds a little selfish, but think about it for a moment.
Have you ever attended a yoga class, where you can visibly see a sense of peace and self-worth transcend every human spirit in the room, and then notice how those yogis lovingly approach the people around them afterward?
Have you ever been around someone who confidently follows his dreams, no matter what obstacles seem to be in his way? And just how much joy he is able to share with the world around him as a result of feeling happy with his own track in life?
Did you ever notice what happens when your child feels totally on top of her game? When she can take the extraordinary energy that she feels inside of her to brighten up your life with a sincere smile or warm hug?
All of these situations have one thing in common: when people feel centered, confident and capable, truly feeling love for themselves, they have more joy and kindness (aka, love) to share with the rest of the world.
By honoring the self, it seems like there is limitless potential to love others freely and deeply. From my experience, it seems that if we all cultivated the most important relationship we have first – the one with our own spirit - we would create the very energy that brightens the world around us – the energy that defines the experience of love. If we love ourselves first, we can show love to our spouses, our children, our siblings and parents, our colleagues, friends, neighbors – even the perfect strangers who cross paths with us. It seems to me that the love we feel within can shine in so many exciting ways, and reach countless people. As long as we first have a solid foundation of self-love.
So, this Valentine’s Day, I hope we can all learn to love ourselves a little more, knowing that it will create the foundation we need to radiate more love to the rest of the world. So give yourself permission to get out there and do something that makes you feel the kind of self-love that will no doubt illuminate the lives of those around you. Because, ultimately, it is love that makes us feel ALIVE.
Marybeth Cale is a life coach and executive coach who works with clients to promote greater success, purpose, passion and satisfaction in business, life and love. Call 845.876.2220 for free coaching strategy session.
Copyright 2015, Cale Communications: All Rights Reserved.